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Tue, May. 9th, 2006, 10:34 pm
Sit Down Session

The following questions were posed to me by one Vomit_Maggots. If you would like me to pose questions to you, feel free to beg.

1. You meet someone, maybe on the internet, maybe in real life, and you hang out some. Maybe even make out some. Then blammo, Ignore City. You're feeling a little played by it. What's your next move?

Oh, that's a good one. What would I do? Would I not surmise that I was being ignored until a week and two voice mails later? Or would I plug the domain name part of his email address into the trusty ol' IE, glean his home address from the contact page, and drive two hours to his house -- where, quiet as a kitten, I would sneak into his bedroom while he slumbered, pull back the covers, then proceed to draw dotted lines with a bright red marker across each of his toes........ The next morning when he awoke, the words "Look Down" would glare from his chest in the bathroom mirror. Dumbfounded, he would look down, seeing the marks at the base of each toe, with a note on his feet, "Ten little indians almost ran off in the night - better call me, fucker."
That's what I would do.
Oh, wait. Nope. I'd be smarting a week later when I realized I'd been hoodwinked.

2. I have just hit you with some Priori Incantatem action. What comes out of your wand?

The two part Hoodoo whammy I put on the neighbors. One part pairs of Most Sensitive Eardrum Sets for all off them, and one part army of trained monkey cymbal players.

3. You are at Horror Find, and Bruce Campbell wants to hook up. You go to his room, but he gets so wasted he passes out. You are still awake. What do you do?

In this situation, I don't feel that stripping a passed out person's body then placing it in compromising positions specifically for photo opportunity would be immoral. Afterall, no one would believe me otherwise.

But I would not sell the photos. Maybe a trip to Office Max for a few poster prints -- but definitely no selling.

Also, um... I might squeeze his cheeks around to make his lips look like they were speaking, while doing a horrible attempt at ventriloquism.

4. I have used a variation on this before, but deal with it: you are given charge to re-write one book. What do you choose, and how would you do it?

Aw, geez. I saw your other version of this -- the "which movie would you redo". And I thought to myself, "SECONDS!!!!" So of course you go and ask me about a book.

I generally have a problem with endings. There are so many novels that have had me tightly in their grasp then inadvertently dropped me into a filthy pit with their ill-conceived ending... but rather than change any ending, I'd have to go with the book that roused my enthusiasm most (prior to reading). That is... ugh, now I can't even think of the name. Was it "Black House"? The sequel to "Talisman"?

I'd rework the WHOLE DAMNED THING.

For starters, it would have *something* to do with the first book. Secondly, it wouldn't Hoover my ass.

5. Are you going to do Nano with me this year, like, for real?

"Hey, Angela, there's this awesome writing challenge we can do. You write 50,000 words in one month! It's the end of October, so I figured we can do it in December."

(Cut to three days later) "Uh, Paul, this writing challenge is for the month of November. Period. No December about it. That's a day from now."

Since I have adequate notification on this year's, I will be typing my fingers bloody with you all of November. I pro-mise. You see that? Pro-mise.

Wed, May. 10th, 2006 09:04 pm (UTC)

Good answers. Especially that last one. Which will haunt you if you bail on me :)